5 Ways to Love on Your Husband
In my opinion, marriage is one of the most fascinating things God created. It amazes me how incredibly rewarding and fruitful it can be when you are investing in it daily and being intentional. Saying “I love you” is important, but I am finding that the small things are indeed the big things when it comes to making an impact.
Here are 5 ways I try to make an effort to support my husband throughout the week. I have found that when I act on these… I am less selfish in my thinking. I’m nurturing him as a person while cultivating our relationship.
1. Take 5 To Connect: We are moms and we have a million things to do at all hours of the day, right? When my husband gets home, he can often find himself walking into the hustle of the early evening activities. I can usually be found making dinner, playing with the baby, and helping the kids with their homework. At that time, I’ve got a loaded plate and I am not exactly looking for another thing to do. But, when I step aside and take a moment to greet him and connect, it let’s my husband know that he is the priority. Connecting with him makes him valued and know that I am here for him, even when there is so much else going on. Once that has been established, we can tackle the rest of the evening together and be our best for our kids.
2. Let Him Know You’re Proud of Him: Most men I know have some level of pride. This a good thing because it creates a drive to want or need to succeed. As women, we need to make sure that we are helping to build them up. So, I make an effort to let my husband know how proud I am of him. Sometimes it is something specific that he accomplished. Other times I am praising him in front of, or to the kids. It is just important for him to know that I am his #1 fan.
3. Know His Love Language: Do you know your husband’s love language? I have always found great value out of knowing this information for myself and for my spouse. Gary Chapman wrote a book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. He describes simple and practical ways to communicate love with 5 languages…
- Words of Affirmation
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Here’s the deal on this: Once you understand his love language and realize that it is most likely not the same as your love language, you can start to connect with your spouse by communicating through the love language that is important to him… not to you. For example, one of my top love language’s is “physical touch”. I love being hugged, getting a kiss, making eye contact. A squeeze of my hand or just his hand on the small of back can mean so much to me. But one of Bleu’s top is “acts of service”. Because he knows physical touch is important to me, he makes more of an effort to connect in that way with me when we are out and about in our day. Whereas for him, acts of service is huge. It could be anything, from making the bed, to paying a bill. It can vary depending on what’s happening. But anytime I can clue into his space and find something to take care of, he not only instantly and always notices, he appreciates it so much because it helps create a peaceful environment for him. When I go the extra mile to do what is important to him, it is a way for me to communicate that I care about him and he is loved. You can take The 5 Love Languages quiz here.
4. Take Care Of It: What do you find yourself always leaning on your husband for? For me, I usually default all car stuff to Bleu, including the oil changes. Eh, it’s just not my favorite thing to do and I never like having to answer all their questions! This is a typical example:
“This is your air filter. This is what it looks like. Do you want to replace it?”
Inside I’m thinking, “I don’t know! You tell me! Does it need to be replaced? I’m not an expert on this… this is why I bring my car in!”
But I answer, “No thank you, not today” because I don’t want to get scammed into spending money I don’t need to.
If Bleu takes care of it he can either do it himself or make a calculated decision on whether that air filter should be changed or not.
Needless to say, after I stopped working, I started taking care of the oil changes, and it was a small but thankful step. Now his weekends are not interrupted by that pesky errand and he’s not being distracted at work with the lingering to do list. When he hears I handled it, it makes his life just a little bit easier. It is one less thing for him to have to think or worry about.
5. Trust Him: Our men were designed to be the leaders of our family. No ladies, that doesn’t mean we take a back seat. But it does mean that when it comes down to it, our husband’s want us to trust them as we navigate this world and support them even if it doesn’t work out as it was intended. Show this by telling him you trust him and let him take the reigns on a decision coming up. Sometimes, we need to go round in round in conversation in order to come up with the best solution. But maybe there is something out there that doesn’t need to be hashed out and you can confidently simplify the situation by handing it over to him.
The more I tune into these, the deeper our relationship grows and our foundation gets stronger. We are each other’s support system and it is important to take care of it. The little things can go a long way.
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